Salvo 11.17.2020 6 minutes

The Trads Get MAGAfied


Release the moms!

For years I was the lone pro-Trump mom in my local Catholic community—MAGA in the tweets, trad in the sheets. In 2016, my friends mostly pined for Marco or Ted and scowled at the prospect of four years with the Big Orange Adulterer. Trad Catholic women are by nature not going to instantly embrace a playboy from the 1980s with a long, sexy history that may or may not include a few wives and some low-budge mistresses. 

I would try to convince them that we weren’t hiring a pastor. We were hiring a political savior! I would gently nudge them to embrace Trump and Trumpism as an essential, once-in-a-generation life raft for conservative pro-life women, their families, and their country. His macho swagger—and everything else they complained about—was a feature, not a bug, I explained. I would delicately urge my friends to think outside their one-issue abortion agenda and help me start pushing the America First and Religious Liberty carts up the mountain. 

But tired, busy moms who have to feed, clothe, and homeschool six or seven or more kids while gestating new ones don’t have tons of time to mess around on Twitter. They’re not Doing The Work, unlike yours truly, who has to be Aware of Things for a living.

I kept pressing them, making my case. I wondered, was something wrong with me? Maybe as a convert, I was just not devout enough, not Catholic enough. My pesky Gen X cynicism kept poking out of my wimple. 

Why couldn’t I just calm down and pray the rosary a few extra times in the faint hope that one glorious day our Perfect Candidate ship would come in? 

It probably didn’t help my cause that I would usually end my pro-Trump exhortations with an acidic screed about Pope Francis. 

Wokeness Wakes the Trads

Then last week, it happened. The largest redpilling event in human history. The greatest heist in American History—bigger than Lufthansa, bigger than Air France. By brazenly stealing the Presidential Election in front of all who had eyes to see, the Democrats accomplished what even I, with all my advanced persuasion skills, could not do in the carpool line or after mass: radicalize the TradMoms. 

The day after the election, I woke up anxious, despondent. Shellshocked. My phone started blowing up with outraged mothers . They were texting clips of Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast! Jack Posobiec tweets! Catholic prophecies about the end of the world. Memes that could step smartly onto r/the_donald. What brave new world was this? 

I knew the Rubicon had been crossed by an armada of white 16-seat Ford Transit vans filled with babies and crushed goldfish crackers when one mom posted a link to the Amanda Milius documentary “The Plot Against the President,” which details the deep state coup that the FBI and CIA ran on Trump from 2015-2020. Her text: “Have you guys watched it? I’m unfamiliar with the content, but it seems believable and it’s blowing my mind!” Mind-blowing indeed.

Look out, Joe and Kamal-Rouge: the Trad moms have been MAGAfied. To my shock, friends who don’t use Twitter or pay much attention to politics are now riveted. They are outraged, to a person, at the blatant and totally obvious voter fraud the Democrats got away with. From dead people voting to Dominion computers literally switching votes, to the mysterious halt of all counting in the middle of the night and then curious Biden-only ballot dumps—the proof is plain. The cheaters are counting on normie conservatives like them to be well behaved and stay clueless, so they accept whatever Jake Tapper tells them. 

But guess what? It won’t work this time. Not after Covington, when a Catholic high school boy was globally shamed for getting harassed by a fake veteran. Not after Kavanaugh, when a nice Catholic family man was destroyed by feminists. Not after Late-Term Joe’s cynical and stomach-churning attempts to cloak himself in the mantle of his “devout” Catholicism. 

And especially not after our craven Governor closed the churches and forbade mass, while leaving the doors of every Planned Parenthood wide open. You know, for health!

The trads are finally on to the Left’s wickedness. They finally see through the affable Biden mirage of “unity.” They understand it for exactly what it is—a dark winter of censorship, religious persecution, race theory indoctrination, workplace intimidation, and homeschooling restrictions. 

The Left went too far this time, and Uncle Joe will never persuade them to shut up and take it, ever again. 

¡Viva La Revolución!

After this past weekend’s MAGA march in D.C., I didn’t even have to share Andy Ngô videos of innocent families getting chased and knocked down by BLM terrorists in our nation’s capital. The trad moms were sharing them with each other! Some have now, for better or worse, gotten on Twitter. These ladies can homeschool multiple kids while nursing newborns and organizing gourmet meal trains for each other. They refused to let a dumb pandemic keep them from receiving the sacraments. BLM and Antifa do not stand a chance!

I’ve been thinking of outfits for my new life as a counter-revolutionary radical. I always did look good in a beret. Maybe I can add a shiny bandolier and some jaunty trousers to complete my new look. Combat boots are always a chic choice for winter.

Can you nurse a baby while wearing a bandolier? How does one sling a rifle on your back and not hit the toddler in the Ergo? Things we may have to learn, sooner than we think.

Trad moms: Assemble!

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