I was watching a recent press conference from Defense Department stooge John Kirby, our modern-day Mouth of Sauron. He’s like the maître d’ at the worst restaurant in Hell, smiling as he tells you there’s a thousand-year wait for your table, but the chef will spit in your food for free. 

I still can’t believe these people are in charge.  

Here’s some quick background: The Department of Defense is refusing to comply with the overturning of Roe v. Wade and is continuing to provide abortion services on its bases where it can, and is paying for women to travel to other states to get those services, too.  

But Republican Senator Tommy Tuberville from Alabama is blocking over 250 U.S. military appointments over the Pentagon’s policy of paying for people to travel for abortions, and they’re not happy about it. 

A reporter asked Kirby, “Why is the new DOD policy on abortion critical to military readiness?” 

Kirby replied,  

One in five members of the U.S. military are women. And we are an all-volunteer force. Nobody’s forcing you to sign up and go. People volunteer to go. You raise your right hand and you say I’m gonna do this, for a few years or for my life. And it might cost me my life to do it. And when you sign up and you make that contract you have every right to expect that the organization is going to take care of you. And they’re going to take care of your families. And they’re going to make sure that you can serve with dignity and respect no matter who you are or who you love or how you worship or don’t. Our policies, whether they’re diversity inclusion and equity, or about transgender individuals who qualify mentally and physically to serve with dignity, or whether it’s about female service members being able to count on the kinds of health care and reproductive care specifically that they need to serve—that is a foundational sacred obligation of military leaders. I’ve seen it myself and it matters—because it says we’re invested in you because you’re willing to invest in us. Some people may decide to get out and that means we lose talent. Recruiting is tough enough as it is with a very strong economy out there. We want to keep the people we get and we want to make sure they can continue to serve. 

[Emphasis is mine, if you hadn’t guessed.]  

A fascinating quote. I don’t know about you, but I like armies that can win wars without forcing female recruits to abort their children. 

Kirby also name checks all the army’s favorite woke identity groups: transgender, gay, and pro-choice feminist. He blames the “strong economy” for the DoD’s own recruiting failures. And he claims that abortion is essential to a woman’s ability to serve.  

As far as I know, no women are in forward operation positions on the front lines of a war, pinned down by enemy fire, and struggling with morning sickness in their first trimesters. Very few abortions are performed on military bases, after all. It’s not an actual readiness issue, at all.  

But in our new Woke Military, young women and LGBTQ people are the solution to the dismal recruiting landscape—and they need abortion-friendly policies to attract young women, who overwhelmingly are liberal and pro-choice.  

As Colonel Mark Wooten of the USAF Civil Air Patrol said about the military’s new woke hiring practices, “the only guidance I put out there for them is to stop hiring middle aged white people…especially dudes who are pilots. If we’re going to be preaching diversity and being inclusive then for crying out loud let’s make the rhetoric meet the reality.” 

The solution: get more pregnant men in the cockpit! Just be careful in that cockpit ejection seat or you won’t need an abortion to end your pregnancy. 

In 2021, the Navy unveiled new maternity flight suits for uterus-owners. And don’t worry, men: I’m sure tuck-friendly wetsuits for Navy Seals are in the works while you await your MtF bottom surgeries. 

The Kirby response speaks to the broader problem in the military, and the actual reason recruitment is so bad. By tossing out its old-fashioned “country, honor, duty” ethos in favor of rainbow-flavored fourth-wave feminism, they are now forced to recruit an army of liberal abortion activists and gender orcs to “man” their battleships.  

And then there’s this stunning statistic: 32 percent of transgender women, i.e., biological men, have been in the military. Fully a third of all transgender women are either veterans or active duty!  

Does undergoing castration suddenly make you extremely patriotic? Or is something else going on here? What is it about the military that attracts autogynephiles? Paging Dr. Freud! Or could it be the promise of free transgender genital surgeries and a lifetime of free medical service?  

As we hurtle towards nuclear Armageddon with Russia or China, or maybe both, we eagerly drain our military of what used to make it great—American men—in favor of catering to feminist young women and creepy guys with sexual fetishes. 

Joining the military in 2023 is like joining Planned Parenthood, Antifa, BLM, WEF, the teachers’ unions, and the trans lobby, all at once. 

I am saying this again, for the millionth time: do not enlist right now. Do not send your children to fight for these craven lunatics. And make sure any politician you vote for has spoken out against ever reinstating the draft. If they need recruits, let them round up the children and young women they are actively brainwashing now in their public K-12 indoctrination centers. Lure them by dangling a lifetime of free abortions and penisectomies. Hey, the more men you can chop into women, the fewer abortions you’ll have to worry about! 

In a few years I’ll have a couple of draft-age sons. John Kirby will have to pry them from my cold, dead fingers.