Bet you’ve noticed this. Happens almost daily on TV and Twitter. And…it magically works every time.
Dumb Republican: “We have to enforce existing immigration laws.”
Atheist Liberal: “And you call yourself a Christian? No Christian would turn away the poor!”
Dumb Republican: [acts out And I Oop meme, cowers silently in shame.]
Noted Christian theologian Barack Obama used this technique to great effect: he used to trot out the Inquisition (circa 1481 AD) to mock Christians for objecting to Obamacare, or some other liberal agenda item.
Kristen Powers recently scolded happily married man Tucker Carlson on TV for not cheering for open borders, using this same tired—but extremely effective—weapon.
CARLSON: So I have a moral obligation to share my earnings—
CARLSON: —and my country with people I’ve never met because they are suffering?
POWERS: Are you a Christian?
CARLSON: I am absolutely a Christian.
POWERS: Okay, have you read the Bible? That Bible says—
CARLSON: This is not a theocracy.
POWERS: It is very clear.
CARLSON: No, countries are not run according to Christian concepts.
POWERS: You are telling me that you don’t have any obligation as a Christian to care?
CARLSON: No, you are not saying that.
POWERS: That’s exactly what I’m saying.
CARLSON: What you’re saying is the U.S. government has a responsibility. Now you may have a Christian obligation. You can give charity money. That’s a massive difference.
Tucker is smart and did not fall into her trap. He rejected the ridiculous idea that the Bible or Christian theology gives direct and set answers to all the prudential political questions of modern day policy. He avoided the And I Oop reaction. This is likely because he is well-wived at home.
But most Republicans, being very dumb, do not react in the Carlsonian manner.
When faced with a sneering, usually divorced, Christian-hating liberal who bleats one or more of the following:
“The Bible never talks about building a wall!”
“The Bible never talks about banning abortion!”
“Show me in the Bible where Jesus tells his followers to throw poor refugees in concentration camps.”
“Did Jesus come down from heaven to tell you that transpeople don’t have the right to government-funded gender affirmation bottom surgery?”
“How DARE you call yourself a Christian, you racist sexist bigot!”
…most Dumb Republicans will nervously clear their wattled throats and weakly protest that hey, come on now, yes, they are a Christian, in fact quite devout, and nowhere in the Bible does it say that they should, ah, that is to say…they believe in…the Constitution. Yeah, that’s it, the Constitution! And the Framers, well, they…”
At which point the liberal goes for the head shot: “Quit mansplaining, Christian white man.” And then right on cue, they recite the Emma Lazarus poem at the bottom of the Statue of Liberty.
Watch as the Dumb Republican predictably emits a nervous giggle and visibly sweats under thick base makeup.
Stop doing this right now. Don’t let them use Christianity as a beating stick to keep you in line.
Why should they get to wield YOUR moral sensibilities, your own personal—and yes, Christian—virtues, against you? They do not believe in those values. They believe in nothing, Lebowski!
Their current preferred weapons against Trump-supporting Christians are daggers shaped like Stormy Daniels and dead Syrian toddlers. “But good Sir,” they bleat, “how can you support a man who shtupped a porn queen and then had the NERVE to stop illegal immigrants from emigrating to Santa Monica, north of Montana Avenue? Where all the residents display Refugees Welcome signage in the yards! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN.”
You have to give them credit, because it’s a tactic that works on Dumb Republicans. Every time. So easy! This nearly bulletproof attack is used by everyone on the left, from the lowly worms like Phillipe Reines, to midlevel toadies like Jim Acosta and Jake Tapper, all the way to Pope Franco, the wily old pedo protecting capo in the Vatican.
To them, the “Christian thing to do” is obvious: throw out the man who committed sins like adultery and vanity, in favor of the liberal nominee, who owns the moral high ground.
Of course, in their moral calculus, the high ground is the sacred mountaintop upon which they gleefully sacrifice a million babies a year, allow thousands of European women to be raped and killed by refugees, and imprison anyone with qualms about mentally ill women who wish to castrate their male children, or those not quite ready to commit to 100% taxation to pay for the Green New Deal.
HOW DARE YOU OBJECT, SIR. AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHRISTIAN?
Republicans: Here is what you are forgetting as you cower in shame live on camera during your CNN hit, sweating it out: when they come at you, when they take aim at you using your own faith as the weapon, remember that they attaq you NOT from the moral high ground.
Instead, they attaq from below. They are the party of the lowest, the debased, the bottomless abyss of muck and degeneracy. Their goal is to bring you down to their level, force you at knifepoint into the mud and filth in which they cavort.
There’s a reason the church of Satan supports “woke” multiculturalist democrats.
“Wut? You got a problem with a 10-foot tall statue of a behorned Beezelbub in front of City Hall? And you call yourself a Christian?”
Dumb Republicans: I would tell you to smarten up, but you can’t. Therefore I speak to all on the right who are still avoir du brains: the smartest response to those who seek to expose your faith in order to plunge it into your heart is simply:
“Go F— yourself.”
And I say that, of course, as a good Christian.